I copied this quote from my Newsweek Magazine, from the recent issue with the cover story about radical Islam. This disturbed the hell out of me!!!
If we give the money to the widows, they will spend it unwisely because they are uneducated, and they don't know about budgeting. But if we find her a husband, there will be a person in charge of her and her children for the rest of their lives.
--Mazin al-Shihan, director of a city agency in Baghdad that plans to pay men to marry Iraq's war widows.
It's absolutely UNBELIEVEABLE the bull$hit that women around the world have to put up with. Anyone ever said anything like this to me, I'd smack him silly, and then smack him again.
[question posted by danishcanadian]responses and comments:
This is the mindset over there and in many other parts of the world...women are second class citizens, incapable of many things. I find this outlook to be very insulting to women and, like you, wouldn't tolerate it myself but, like me, you have freedoms that some women don't have. [spalladino]
Unfortunately, if she did smack him silly, she would probably be executed. Change comes slowly, luck for our side of the world it has come in many ways. Still people who think that way, though. Actually, if they give the women money, they may purchase things to start cottage industry, and books to become educated, and become independent, and never need a man again, except as it pleases them. [GardenGerty]
Unfortunately, if she did smack him silly, she would probably be executed. Change comes slowly, luck for our side of the world it has come in many ways. Still people who think that way, though. Actually, if they give the women money, they may purchase things to start cottage industry, and books to become educated, and become independent, and never need a man again, except as it pleases them. [GardenGerty]
What an outrageous thing said about women by men, very demeaning to womenfolk. I cannot but feel that in this day and age, the attitude of blaming women for anything and everything still exists. Trouble is some women sit and listen to this sort of rubbish, burn inside and say nothing. They are afraid that to protest is unfeminine so they let these things (since they thrive on intimidation, what else would we call them?) spout their nonsense and appeal to the worse sides of some people. If we are going to take the blame, let it be for allowing these insults to women to go on. It took a man, don't forget, to come out loud and clear and say we must always respect women because everybody springs from a woman's womb. And we women cheered. But we could have just as easily said so ourselves. Why do we have to always let a man defend us? Are we swallowing the male stereotypes about us? [zandi458]
In my personal opinion, which is rather common, I guess, it's hard to break the chains of what we've been genetically programmed to do. Whether a person subscribes to the Adam and Eve theory or evolution, men and women evolved with drastically different roles not only in society, but in the human race all together. Although I do believe that it's a man's ignorance for saying women can't do something, I also understand how a man is genetically programmed to simply not expect a woman to be anything but a mothering figure in the end. Our bodies and technology are both evolving faster than our brains. What we consider to be the "modern world," i.e. NOT Bagdad (lol), has taken great strides for equality - both gender and racial. In the context of history, that's no easy feat. We - most of the world - have changed more in 50 years than in the last 5,000 combined. I think we're approaching a time when all will be considered equal; but like it or not, both women and men still have roles to play in the world as procreators and nesters and hunters, etc. Once we get rid of the attitudes claiming that a woman can't juggle multiple things, we'll all be okay. I feel bad for American women struggling for rights, however. Unless you're a left-wing woman, your "rights" aren't fought for. A meaningful and necessary battle for equality has turned wholly political and threatens to set America's apolitical and right-leaning women back decades. But America is still a far sight better than Bagdad. [matersfish]
That is so wrong! How can any one think that they have the right to demean and belittle women this way. I guess they don't want to educate the women for fear that they really are smarter than the men!? [lynnemg]
that is messed up!! so sad that that kind of ignorance is still around [moonlitmagikchild]
That's really demeaning! Women are far better in handling finances than men. Being in charge of money and kids need no education. It's crazy such views still exist when women have already proven themselves. [nympha687]
I am not the most up-to-date about women around the world, but I do believe that there are places, L, where the women are STILL fighting for their rights very similar to what the US went through many years ago to get the right to vote, etc. Many places around the world STILL see women as second class citizens, as do many men right here in the US!! If you smacked him silly, he would see it as some kind of fun, and think you were liking him, and come back for some more thinking it was some kind of game, and especially if he was STUPID enough to approach YOU in such a matter in the first place. Ever see the movie "Not Without My Daughter"? I remember how much that movie taught me quite bit about how women live in other places and we take for granted how lucky we have it! [idowrite72]
Sadly, whoever made the quote is probably speaking the truth for the most part. Not that women are unable to handle money by nature, or uneducated. We all know that there's little, if any difference between the learning capacity of a woman's and man's brain. Emotions are a different story! ;) The bigger point, to me at least, isn't that the guy said this; it's that the situation is probably true in the majority. The women haven't been educated at all and probably have no financial sense. They're looked upon as baby factories and sex slaves. Obviously, that's not to say that plenty of women couldn't handle money wisely using strictly common sense. They've been forced to fill the quarters of an ever-shrinking role for thousands of years. Even in Biblical times, if I'm not mistaken, women played a more predominant role in the Middle-Eastern area. If I were you ladies, I'd be more upset about the overall oppression of the women - the uneducated state that most are in - more than the comment. I mean, it's not like we needed a Newsweek Magazine article to tell us how women are treated over there. The world has had a front row seat to the lifestyle since late 2001 -- constantly updating with the brutality of the culture. But, in a way, the people - as a whole - have somehow captured millions of sympathetic hearts. IMHO, what happens to women and children over there is enough of a reason to rein down democracy. But that's neither here nor there. :-) [matersfish]
This is just another example of cultural differences in different country. While I do not agree with the quote (and would smake him silly too) he has to be responsible for what he says. I'm very sure many people all over the world are indignant with his comment. Just be thankful that we are not born in that country. I would recommend that you read "Give Me Back My Daughter". [bbtort]
Is it "give me back my daughter" or "Not Without My Daighter?" I've read the latter, and a number of other books about the plight of middle eastern women. [danishcanadian]
Could this be a fair statement of reply: Egocentric MCP ( male chauvinist pig ) or EEMCP ( Extreme Egocentric Male Chauvinist Pig? ) Haha!~lolrasp [zweeb82]
What a derogatory remark!! It makes me so sad knowing that this is still the norm in some parts of the world. I pity those women who have no choice but to put up with that crap. [elmolovesu]
Yes, I find it quite disturbing. It seems like women in the Arab world are just treated like animals or property by the men in that area. They don't have much equal rights or anything. [chunijole]
It is sad really. And if you look through our history, our society was like that once as well. [laglen]
"Give the man a fish and you feed him for life". I believe the author is directly translating this quote into something he feels is creativity which successfully backfires. Well, that one example of a big MCP. rasp [whyaskq]
I would happen to do the exact same thing that you would do lol My husband couldn't bugdet without my help I honestly don't know how he made it so far in life with the way that he is. [ZephyrSun]
Actually alot of places believe that way, they just don't put it so directly. Years ago my oldest brother lost his wife to cancer, she was very young (around 24) and they had two children that were 1 and 3. We had her funeral and afterwards the church (they were Mormon) had a little dinner like thing. During the dinner the President of the church came up to my brother and I swear to God said "You know we have alot of young, single women at our church you should meet"!! Here's a man that just lost his wife and had just had her funeral that morning and this guy is suggesting he start dating. My brother was so angry he walked out right then and there. That church along with many others believe that every family should start with one husband and one wife. If you lose one, you replace them quickly. My Mom tried to get me to go to the same church and so I went to a few ladies groups with her. All they talked about was cooking, cleaning and kids. When I asked what the men were doing in their groups my Mom told me they learned about money, jobs and fixing things. I asked her why they didn't teach the men and women the same things and she said b/c they feel that each one has their own jobs. My question then was what happens if you get married and your spouse dies...the churches answer to that is you need to hurry up and get married again. It's very rare that you hear someone make an outright statement about it but some countries and alot of churches basically believe the same thing...they just don't say it out loud. ~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS** [twoey68]
This is happening in the World because women are allowing these men to treat them like lower class citizens. Is about time that they wake up and smell the coffee. [Mirita]
Women in the United States, Canada and Western Europe are for sure the luckiest women in the world because there are so many freedoms available. There are just many things that are taken for granted by us and we should really be thankful for what we have in this country and in Canada. [snowy22315]
Anyone ever said anything like this to me, I'd smack him silly, and then smack him again[/] Here in North America, Yea someone spouting crud like that would surely get smacked around hard..BUT I'm assuming this person was speaking of the women over there and sadly if thats the case he's right...and its such old hat that unlike here (U.S/Canada) there really arent ppl or organizations that can help out women who have been surpressed all their lives ya know....HOWEVER I TOTALLY disagree that marrying these women off RATHER THAN TEACH THEM coping skills etc is the way to go..thats just insane to me.. [Ravenladyj]
That doesn't surprise me, they think that women are a lower life form. [gitfiddleplayer]
The first sentence of the quote, though demeaning to women, is a good point concerning being uneducated and perhaps not spending their money wisely. In America, we teach our students finances and budgeting techniques so as to spend wisely and be able to provide necessities while also finding the space for luxuries and savings. I used to work in a grocery store and you wouldn't believe the amounts of elderly widows who come in not knowing how to pay for their groceries because her husband always took care of the finances! [lneudecker1]
Too bad someone doesn't tell them it's their own fault that the women are uneducated to begin with. [cajuncakes]
Well they have kept the women in dark behind the veil for ages and made them unwise so that they can marry and remarry them again.This can be the truth of that region. [balasri]
Hi, danishcanadian! That is very mean to say to a woman, indeed! What gives a man to talk down to a woman like this? See, that is what I mean, we have so many men that think that a woman can't do as much as they can!!! They are forgetting that without us they would have never been born into the world! So, they need to give us the respect that we so claim our own!! Thye need to wisen up and treat a woman like she is supposed to be treated! Women know how to handle money just as well as a man can! As a matter of fact, there are many WOMEN managing businesses! They can do it as well as the man can. Men can be such pigs when it comes to the achievements of women!! He needs to be smacked, tossed and shaked for saying this about a woman! Silly of him to have to pay men to marry Iraq's war widows..sad That is why men don't have respect for women because other men make it hard for them to. This is pitiful and undecent! I could not live in this country. I am proud to be an American!!happy [cream97]
Good day.. I'm appalled that this kind of thinking still exists. I mean managing finances is not totally dependent to one's gender or race but to one's inherent ability on how to spend and save one's money. [blackmantra_x]
You're right. It's an insult and probably political and intentional; so you should probably just dismiss it as nonsense. In fact it's the females who know the best about budgeting and it has its basis on motherhood. In Turkish we have a quote saying "Yuvayi disi kus yapar." which roughly translates as "the female bird builds the home (the nest)." Also in many religious philosophies (such as the Kabbalah) the female aspect of divinity is attributed to the qualities of organizing, managing and planning. Women are inherently born with a most unique quality called 'understanding'. They can know, they can sense. A man does not have that capacity. Man only cares about getting to the top, competing and being the best, due to the dynamic nature of the male aspect of divinity. Quite most of the time they will not understand whatever you're pointing at. It is possible that a man awakens to his feminine nature. But that is beyond the scope of this discussion. [Zalvor]
This is why we should never be involved. I hate what is going on in Islamic world. female has no rights whatsoever. How the hel* someone can be in charge of woman and her kids? Hard to believe. They create total dependency with no access to education. I is hard to believe we are in 21 century....angry [polachicago]
You would not have to slap them silly, they already are silly. Or would that be stupid? We are in the 21st century here, obviously the middle east is not. I guess we should be grateful that we were born here and not over there. [Debs_place]
LOL! I would like to watch you beat him silly. The real answer for people over there in the Middle East to have a better life is to convert them to being good Christians. We need to send missionairies over there to convert these people. I feel sorry for the people in the Middle East. They need our help. [albert2412]
yes in many parts of the world women are considering stupid, and most women are powerless, it wasn't long ago only a hundred years ago that was the same in the west women were not considered persons until the early 19 hundred, before that they belonged to their fathers and then there husbands, just like livestock. [winterose]
We cannot enforce our beliefs on others around the world. In fact, this is one of the biggest problems Americans (I'm aware you are Canadian) have. Just because we see all genders equaled and see one God as the creator of everything doesn't mean the rest of the world's civilizations agrees nor have to live by our opinions. I personally don't see Mazin al-Shihan's reasoning as being a statement that can be held against any women under any circumstances being something that holds any water.It has been my experience to see that women that have lost their spouses to death somehow tend to shine more as individuals and proven to become even wiser with the finances than even their deceased spouse was. In reality, if Mazin al-Shihan has had any diplomatic training and common sense at all, he would never approach you or any FREE woman with such a bold statement... ...so put away your smacking hand and save it for Myklj. Unfortunately, the mentality that has caused many innocent people to be wrongly executed during the infamous "Spanish Inquisition" probably began with a statement similar to, "I don't agree with you, you don't believe in what I do, so.... I'd smack you silly, and then smack you again" [mrghill]
it's never a good idea to allow one person control of another's money. she'll be lucky if it doesn't get spent and she and children end up destitute. [scarlet_woman]
I think I'd go further than that... I'd shove his money where the sun don't shine and tell him to keep it for any poor fool of a woman he came across and wanted to control for the rest of his life! I guess the women in those countries whose cultures go this way, just put up with things for a quiet life, but heed the warning Mazin al-Shihan!!!! Do NOT ever say things like that in a liberated country! ha ha. Brightest Blessings, my friend. [Darkwing]